THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Actions speak louder than pants.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
