I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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