Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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