Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
