she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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