there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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