I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
