I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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