I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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