Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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