Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
