I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
