He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
