he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
