Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
