Screwed.edu
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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