She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
