Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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