on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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