Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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