It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
how drunk are you?
Several
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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