im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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