even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
