considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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