Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
