good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
