don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
