I'm gonna have a badass scar
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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