No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
