Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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