Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
