i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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