Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
