At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
farters have to be the big spoon...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
