Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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