I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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