Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
