fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
