I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
