He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
