Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We don't watch enough power rangers
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
