the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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