He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
