dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
