his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
