just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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