I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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