I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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