we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
