i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
