ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
