# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
