Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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