If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
