So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
