Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Say something about gay babies.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
