You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
