We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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