It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
