im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize