we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The air taste purple.
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