Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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