Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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