i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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